A Little Bit of Fail

People often ask me where I get all these freaks and if I ever actually meet normal people. I actually do end up talking to a lot of decent people who I either try to harass and they delete me as a friend, or who I decide don't deserve to be harassed after talking to them for a bit before the harassing begins.

I thought this first one was hilarious. This person decided they should delete me as a friend. (More after the jump)

Lesson on Internet Privacy - Part 2 (Potentially NSFW)

I am still shocked at how little people care about their own privacy when it comes to their photographs on Facebook. In a time when more and more potential employers are checking your Facebook, you would think people would be smarter about this.

Do you think her other arm is more toned from using a
grain shovel to shove things in her mouth?

In my last post I called this girl a cow, but the picture was from an upward angle and she cropped out her massive frame. To start out I decided to show you how much she really cropped. Enjoy the rest of the pics. As usual, this might not be the best to view at work.

It's Official. I'm Going to Prison.

I really need to look at the age of the people I harass on the internet. One of the main problems with this whole Facebook harassing thing is that I don't always look at a person's info page to find out how old they are when I make a sexual comment. In this case I saw an opportunity to tell someone by inference that they are a whore, and so I did it. It was only when I went to her page for to reply to her that I realized she was only 17. Oops.

Then her little boyfriend got involved and he started a little ruckus. I have screenshots of the conversation after the jump.

Lesson on internet privacy

One thing I have noticed while sifting through random accounts looking to harass people is that people don't safeguard their pictures, even if they are ones you definitely would only want your friends to see. People add me and give me full access to their account without having any idea who I am. I decided to start harvesting a few of these ridiculous pictures. So there's no actual nudity on these pictures (after the jump) but they are very questionable as to whether you should look at these in a work environment.

Make sure to check out all five pictures. They get better as you go along.

Jessica still wants D

I wasn't happy with how the conversation with the married lady from Trinidad ended so I decided to have another little convo with her. Screenshots of the messages after the jump.

Prashant Intervention

I guess I suck at interventions. I just yell at the person. But I figured that was better than nothing for Prashant, so I just had a little chat with him about being a child predator and probably a goat molester. Chat, pictures of Prashant, and contact info for him after the jump.

Introducing "D": Hustler extraordinare

In my arsenal of fake accounts the main ones who people are willing to talk to are the kinky mid-sex-change Japanese girl (Kimiko) and the comedy writer who does side work as an underwear model (Mark). I get all the chats I need from Kimiko, but Mark for some reason doesn't get much attention.

I was rolling around town with my homeboy who told me "There's no chocolate here in Utah. When I find a girl who likes chocolate she will do anything for me." I started thinking about this and decided to try my hand at making a fake account that is an African-American guy. 


With D, I don't even have to try to talk to people. Everyone started messages me. After adding a few random people to my account the first message I received let me know I struck gold. Screenshot of the messages after the jump.

ANR is what? Wow!

It has been a bit since we heard from Mark. Usually girls are more reserved online and won't get right into the crazy dirty talk. This girl threw me a curve ball I never saw coming. This chat is basically an intro to this girl. I kept it pretty mild because I wanted to suck her titties knew I could make this girl into a regular feature on my blog.

I figured this would be a nice light read after yesterday's long and vile chat.

I found her in a chatroom and decided to add her to my messenger.  This chat starts at that point.

Prashant LOVES Children

The only suggestion I received for messing with Prashant was to try to convince him to join some crazy religion. Since that would take way too long and probably unfruitful since people are always so set in their beliefs, I decided to see how much shit I could give him before he gave up.

I bashed his country, his people, and GOT HIM TO ADMIT HE LIKES CHILD PORN.

Since the chats are long I'm going to cut out some of the unsuccessful attempts and give context to each section. It is still REALLY long, so if you only read portions I would suggest the last section, and the one that starts with him asking what part of Japan I'm from (do ctrl + f and search for Japan).

After the obligatory "you make me hard" chat that every guy has with Kimiko, I started to ask him about himself with aims of bashing him and making everything about him look quaint and silly. Like a dysfunctional West Virginia Father-Daughter relationship, it got freaky in a way no one could imagine.

Richard Glass

You know all those annoying magazine salespeople who come to your door trying to sell you magazines you don't want by trying to play on your emotions. They tell you they are from the hood and trying to scrape to get a better life.

Those people are assholes.

My boy got a flip the day Richard decides to come over. He was making lame and racist jokes. We stone faced him and didn't laugh at all. But when he was being serious we were laughing in his face. The cameraman decides to tell him we are all high, so we play along.

I apologize for the shaky camera, covered up lens, etc. This was our first time using the flip.

Choose your own adventure!!!!

I get so many guys adding Kimiko and immediately hitting on her, it's kind of disturbing. One guy has started off being one of the more creepy and forward people. I feel like I could do almost anything to him if I promised him some nudity from Kimiko.

Instead of doing anything I want,  I want to do anything YOU want. Please leave comments as to what you think I should do to this poor soul the next time he comes online. I will choose the best and/or craziest and I will make it happen.

Chat logs and messages after the jump.

Kimiko and Edwin (NSFW)

Edwin is from the Netherlands. He was yet another person I added randomly to Kimiko's Facebook account. I wanted to see how far I could push him and I still haven't found his limit. This has NSFW language and an image (i cropped it down so you can't see the whole business, but still don't look at this at work).

I destroy happiness

I was Facebook stalking some of the people on one of my fake Facebook accounts to find something I could use against them to make a funny chat. I ran across this Brazilian girl's wall that had a post from an American guy named Dave that said "do you think u can come up with the money for my plane ticket to come and see u"

There was no way I was going to stand for such an injustice. I knew that Dave was going to be my next victim, and I was never going to have to say one word to him.

Photos, chat logs and more after the jump.

His dick is a fried burrito

Kimiko is quickly becoming my favorite account to chat with. I tried to turn Nelly bi. When that didn't work we had a little girl talk. I play a naive yet kinky Japanese girl in this. It really picks up toward the end. Enjoy.

Chicken and Rice

This was from that day I was saying "hi lover" to random people. Yet again it turned out to be a married woman. But this time I took a little different approach. Chat log after the jump.

Pedophilia Pays

This girl was supposed to swing by my friend's house to meet him to see if they wanted to go out. He saw some misleading pictures of her that made her look like a 1 on the 0-1 scale. However the second he walked in the door he said our safe word and we started completely messing with this girl trying to get her to leave.

This is going to end up being in two or three posts. We harassed this girl for almost 2 hours straight. We watched Rugby and a Jack Lalane juicer infomercial. She didn't really get the hint.

Videos after the jump.

Can I get arrested for this?

This girl randomly added one of my fake accounts to her Facebook. I'm assuming she was just trying to up her number of friends to look cool. I got bored one day and decided she needed to be taught a lesson about Facebook safety.

Check out the nasty message I got from her aunt after the jump.

Omar the horny

I have a fake Facebook account that is a Japanese girl living in the USA. People seem to love to chat with her. She's a sexual freak both physically and through her actions. Omar got a little more than he bargained for when he had a little chat with her.

Chat log after the break.

Cowgirl Hooker

I randomly found and added this girl to one of my fake facebook accounts. We had a mutual friend on there and so I used that to gain trust - saying that I used to hang out with this mutual friend. Then I started flirting with her and telling her I wanted to hook up with her. She asked me to make the 1.5 hour drive to come and take away her virginity. I told her she needed to send me a picture of the goods first.

Continues after the jump (includes NSFW pictures):

Tsk Tsk Officer

I like to mess with people. The reactions I get from the crap I pull with people gives me a good chuckle. I mess with people online and in person. It's more fun in person, but it's easier to get reactions online. This blog is devoted to me screwing with people.

I decided kick this blog off with a little internet chat I had a couple of years ago with an officer Heller. I was bored at work and was randomly telling people on my fake MSN buddy list that I loved them. Here is my favorite chat from that day (after the jump):